Pumpkin Oralgasm

The Institute Bar tapped 9 pumpkin beers yesterday. Some of the people I was with were saying they haven't been impressed with the pumpkin beers they've tasted this season. It was a gratifying experience to witness each of these people explode in their pants when they tried the Southern Tier Pumking. Seems to be the pumpkin beer everyone's been looking for!

All this hype over ST's pumpkin beer has me anticipating the November release of the Choklat. Oh how I look forward to making love to that beer!

That's all I have to say today.

Oh wait. While I'm here, I should mention that Ommegang's Biere De Mars was delicious. I admire the work that wild yeast do to brew. <3

Pumpkin Beers in September

If you're not careful, you can make yourself sick of pumpkin beers before October shows up. I tried my first pumpkin beer while at the beach during the summer. It felt wrong, but I did it anyway. Since then, I've tried to maintain composure and fight the urge to buy every kind of pumpkin beer on the shelf just so I can know how they taste.

Before I drink myself so stupid with pumpkin beers that I don't even want to look at them, I thought I'd write down my experiences with the 3 (new for me) pumpkin beers I've tried so far this season.



http://www.elysianbrewing.com/BeerPages/Pumpkin.html
The bartender at Jose Pistola's swore that this was one of the best pumpkin beers. If I remember correctly, he liked it best because it wasn't overloaded with pumpkins, "A pumpkin ALE is supposed to still taste like ALE," he said. And I can dig the sentiment and wholeheartedly disagree at the same time.

I want my pumpkin beer to taste like fucking pumpkins. Sure, the spices thrown into a pumpkin beer are fun and well mannered, but I want a substitute for pumpkin pie and/or bread. The Elysian Night Owl wasn't it (even though it's brewed with "150 lbs of pumpkins in each batch"). It was ok, but not what I've been searching for. To each their own. We also discussed how everyone has a different preference when it comes to this style of beer. Figuring out which breweries make it the way I like it has been a mission for years.

Smuttynose was not the beer I was looking for either (http://www.smuttynose.com/beers/seasonal_beers/smuttynose_pumpkin_ale.html). They made an Ok beer... I guess. There is supposedly pumpkin somewhere in the brew process, but the spices must have drowned it. It's pretty light and you can drink many. My friend Lauren liked it. It should be noted that Lauren had quickly chugged a Miller Light before drinking the Smuttynose (waste not want not!) and I had eaten a handful of jellybeans before drinking my own. Lauren assured me that the next day, the bottle of Smuttynose she drank actually tasted like pumpkins. I was happy for her.

Thankfully, this is the year that I found my mecca of Pumpkin Ales. Southern Tier has slowly started to become one of my favorite breweries, and the Pumpking Imperial Pumpkin Ale is "filled with puppies and Jesus" (according to my friend Wally).

It is heaven. Pumpkin filled heaven with just the right amount of spice but the overwhelming aroma and taste of lots and lots of pumpkins. It's so gold and beautiful. It's so surprisingly thick but light at the same time. The 9% ABV makes it so you can't drink more than a glass or two and accidentally get sick of the taste. I want to buy up all of the Pumkings and be selfish with them. I want to sleep with them in my bed. I liked it so much, I almost demanded that my 19 year old brother let me buy him a bottle. It's a beer that needs to be shared with the world.

People that aren't into pumpkin beers with a huge pumpkin flavor will hate it. Good. More for me!

The end.

Southern Tier Choklat

(this is an old one but november's right around the corner and this beer will once again be pouring down my throat. Sounds dirty)

(Relocating old beer reviews to this little blog. This one's from a year ago... the Choklat is due to come out soon, i do believe...)

In a world where chocolate is cheaply made and mass manufactured, it’s easy to not be “big on chocolate.” It’s not until you sink your teeth into a high quality no bullshit hunk of chocolate that you can fully appreciate and understand where chocoholics are coming from. After trying the fancy pants type of chocolate, you can understand why Mayans referred to cocoa as the “food of the gods.”

I won’t go so far as to refer to the Southern Tier Choklat Stout as the “beer of the gods,” but I’m a few sips away from doing just that.

I had my eye on the Choklat as an after dinner beverage at Devil’s Den. After a flight of Belgian ales, the 11% ABV had me wary of ordering this magical glass of stout, but what would a Friday morning be without a bit of a hangover?

The appearance of this beverage was intimidating. I like to think it poured like an oil slick and that it could power a small vehicle or lawn mower. When you put your nose to the glass, I highly suggest you close your eyes and tell everyone around you to shut the hell up for a second. When you take your first sip, I suggest you do it alone in bed with lit candles and some Barry White on the stereo. Southern Tier has done an exceptional job of creating a beer you want to do it to.
In addition to chocolate malt, Southern Tier added bittersweet Belgian chocolate to this brew. Without knowing this information ahead of time, you figure out that real chocolate was used before you’ve even taken your first sip. The balance of bitter and sweet is perfect. It turns out that chocolate has been used in beverage form since ancient times. It’s ancient times that have inspired the creation of this stout as I learned from the Southern Tier website, “The Popol Vuh, the sacred book of the Maya, unfolds a complex web of mystery around a beverage known as xocoatl (ch-co-atle). At Southern Tier, we’re not surprised that hieroglyphs of the ancient Maya depict chocolate being poured for rulers and gods.”

It’s been said that chocolate releases certain neural transmitters in the brain inducing a sense of euphoria. This explains the Mayan obsession with the cocoa bean and how it was so valuable it could be used as currency. I never experienced the so called euphoria that came along with eating certain types of chocolate…. Until I drank this beer. I seldom use the word “oralgasm” but it seems like the perfect time to throw it out there (ok, it’s a lie. I use the word oralgasm every other day). If you‘re in any way a fan of chocolate you need to try this beer. If you’re not a stout person- well shit, even if you’re not a beer person, you’re likely to enjoy a glass of Choklat Stout the same way you enjoy a cup of hot chocolate after playing in the snow.

Schneider Aventinus

(Moving beer reviews from an old web site to here!)

Have you ever sat on a waterfront deck, with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders? You breathe in the air and it’s like the first breath you’ve ever taken? The aromas of the world filter through your nose one by one giving you time to appreciate everything that’s going on. For this moment you feel what could best be described as a moment of zen that you never want to end.
The Schneider Aventinus is the waterfront deck zen experience of beer. In Philadelphia, it’s apparently only on tap at two bars (or so the fellow with the black eye tells me) and Devil’s Den happens to be one of them. The stranger with the black eye says to me, “You need to order this beer. If you don’t like it, I’ll buy it off of you.”

Not sure what to make of the description, “This is a very intense wheat doppelbock with a complex spicy chocolate-like aroma with a hint of banana and raisins,” I went for it if only to experience this banana business. To my surprise, the hint of bananas was more prevalent than I expected. It was amazing. It was Christmas morning. It was that remarkable sunset that you still remember years after it took place. It was cuddling after sex (if that’s your thing). Schneider Aventinus was the zen moment of my beer life.

At 8.2% ABV, you’re graced with the feeling that you’re getting your money’s worth when drinking this 102 year old beer (created in 1907). After getting to know this beer, I’ve learned that the banana flavor does not in fact come from bananas. The banana and spice aroma is the result of the strain of yeast used during fermentation. The complexity of the Aventinus thrills me.

After such a profound enjoyment of this banana and raisin business, I had to wonder if it was just a one night stand.

Three days later, I went to a Rogue beer tasting at Jose Pistola’s. After the tasting, I was faced with making the decision of ordering a beer. And there it was- Schneider Aventinus staring at me from the menu. But this time, it was in a bottle. Could the bottle live up to the tap version? Will it ruin my memory of such a fantastic beer experience? After realizing I was overthinking this decision, I decided to go for it- as did everyone else at my table.
I’m also happy to report that this one night stand with Schneider Aventinus has grown into a casual love affair that will be taken slow and in moderation as to not spoil the experiences we share.

Rogue Golden Ale- A transition beer, perhaps?

Miller Light tastes like shit. Yuengling is tolerable. I don't care to comment on Coors or Bud. During a brewery tour, Ed Stoudt claimed that there's "no such thing as a BAD beer" because beer, in and of itself, is a great beverage. While I may disagree with the "no bad beer" sentiment, I get where he's coming from....

What's reassuring is that more and more people are making the cross over from mass produced poor quality beer to more thoughtful and delicious beers. There's hope for everyone.

But the issue with "crossing over" (that's what I'm calling it) is that the taste-buds of the mass production beer consumer are royally fucked. Consider they're used to drinking a watered down beer that's cut with cheaper products (corn) to yield more beverage. If you give a craft beer virgin a beer with too many hops, they'll go into shock. If you give them something too malty, the virgin will spend an hour trying to choke it down.

I've seen it happen, this is how I know.

I thought that I found the perfect "transition beer" when I sipped on the Rogue Golden Ale. Not strong in aroma or in taste really. *maybe* a little floral on the tongue, but really, it just taste like... a beer. In theory, you could give this Golden Ale to someone that is not yet accustomed to the complex flavors of pale ales, stouts, IPA's, seasonal brews, or Belgians and they'd drink it without a struggle. I opened this beer while playing poker with a group of friends that prefer Miller to any other beer available. I was happy to force one of them to taste my beer...

Ironically, my only experiment failed when my Miller Light drinking friend tasted the Rogue Golden Ale and said, "It's not hoppy enough." More research needs to be done to reach a conclusion. In the meantime, I still recommend this beer to craft brew virgins and beer drinkers looking to broaden their horizons.

Steamworks Third Eye P.A… huh huh, get it?

(Don't let the name fool you)

At Belgian Café I’m often stuck with what to order. You throw a menu listing over 200 beers into the face of a beer lover and it can cause a panic attack, “What should I chose? Will it be the right choice? Oh god what if I pick the wrong beer and I'm stuck with it?" Luckily the Belgian is in my back yard- if I order a bum beer, there’s always another chance to redeem myself.

I tend to stick to the draft list for affordability purposes. That and because it’s fun to drink a beer that won’t be available at the restaurant next week. On this particular trip to the Belgian, I tried the Steamworks Third Eye P.A.- if only for the clever name.

I was satisfied with the beer. I was a little disappointed that it was not in fact an IPA with a play on words- just a pale ale with a strong hop aroma. It was certainly hoppy enough to fill my craving for some cascade goodness. I don’t really have any other details to add about this beer. It was just tasty. Nothing crazy going on- just a pretty good beer. Good enough to drink two!

With further research, however, I’ve learned that this beer is typically sold in cans. That’s always a neat detail, isn’t it? Here is a quote from the Steamworks Brewing web site:

“Jupiter was correctly positioned in 2006, so we started bottling the Third Eye. And now the stars have re-aligned, so it was time to make the can commitment,” said Brian McEachron, Steamworks director of marketing and sales. “Seriously, for a brewery to begin canning any of its varieties, it is a big step purely because it requires a major investment of time in label approval, and in production and purchase of packaging materials.”

Beer!

Oh right. I can make a seperate blog for beer! I'm going to get on that now!